So I fell off the face of the earth for what....6 years??? I think that qualifies me for the worse blogger of the decade! What do you think? When Facebook came around, I stopped blogging. But now I think I may give it another try.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Friday, October 16, 2009
So back to the post...to call or not to call. I needed to get some thoughts out so I decided the blog was the best place since I can't post really long messages on Facebook (FB). Yesterday afternoon, my son returned home from school at around 5:00 p.m. and informed me that his homecoming date (a friend, not a girlfriend), had canceled their date via text message to attend the dance with another boy. Imagine my shock...and anger, when he told me this. I was livid and all he said was, "She could have done it earlier and I wouldn't have bought her the $20 ticket for admission." He said it didn't matter and he doesn't really care. That of course is a big, fat lie!
In my anger and haste, I posted this to FB and got a huge number of responses from friends. Some said to call the mother, others said to let it go. Let it go and let karma take control, let it go since it will make things worse on Tucker, let her go because her parents probably don't give a hoot, just to list a few. Everyone agreed that her behavior was tacky and she lacked any time of manners and integrity.
My first inclination was to call the parents and let them know what transpired, at least from my end. Of course, I would begin the conversation with the fact that being a parent myself, I would definitely hope that another parent would inform me if my son/daughter behaved in this fashion. I was extending this courtesy to them to inform them of the situation and they could do what they seemed appropriate. I in no way would call with "guns blazing" and an accusatory attitude. Because let's face it, I only have 50% of the information.
If I call, I do so because it is what I would want a parent to do for me. I pray that someone would inform me that my children were behaving in a hurtful, mean, spiteful way and give me the opportunity for a "teaching moment" with my child. The fact is, I've taught my children to be more respectful than that. I've taught them that when they make a commitment they follow through with it. Otherwise, they are compromising their integrity and mine as well. Why are they compromising my integrity? When you hear of a child "misbehaving", what is you first thought? Mine is...."Where are their parents?" Let's face it, we all think that. Naturally, it's the parent's that are raising the child and teaching them right from wrong. So when a child chooses what I deem to be "wrong", its probably because the parents did not teach them any better. Kids make choices all the time and many times it is the wrong choice no matter how they have been raised. That's just the nature of the beast. So which do I assume, bad parenting, bad choice?
Many people would respond with, "The parents probably don't even care!" But what if they do care? Again, face it, kids make choices all the time that have parents scratching their heads wondering where in the heck that came from. I know I do. I know that my kids know better, but still make wrong choices. So do I assume they don't care and just ignore the tacky behavior?
If I don't call, I feel I compromise my integrity by not practicing what I preach and by not standing firmly behind my values and morals. I don't want to impose my values on anyone else, but I would want someone to make sure I was being accountable.
If I do call, will she make things even more difficult on my son who already hates his school, feels he doesn't fit in and that people just don't really like him? Will that happen? I don't know. Do I take a chance on making him more miserable than he already is?
After sleeping on it and talking to a few friends, I did what any mother would do....I called my dad. His opinion is the one I value most. He said not to call. I can only say, that high school can't end soon enough for me and my son! My decision has not been made yet...I'm still pondering it.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
With that, I can't say that things have been entirely smooth! Tucker seems to be suffering some teen angst. He's seventeen and going to be a Junior this year. My heart sinks a bit as I realize that he will be leaving the nest in just two short years for college. I know he'll attend college (probably West Point, if he has way) and he'll never come home. Although it is not my choice for him to go into the military, it has been his dream since he was 9 years old. I admire his high ambitions and the effort he has put forth to gain entrance into the academy. He still has a ways to go, but for his sake, I pray he gets there.
But, I digress. Back to the angst...with those high ambitions, he tends to be a bit different than most teens. There are times he feels "alone" and that difference seems to be bigger than Mt. Everest. Not being invited to parties and having "texts" ignored is very painful. Those are the times when my heart breaks in two for him. We've spent several late evenings chatting this out. I see his potential and know where that potential will ultimately land him in life. I also know (from experience) that the popular crowd look somewhat different in 10/20/30 years. Unfortunately, saying that to him, today, right now when he hurts the most, doesn't make him feel a whole lot better. So, I sit and listen, hold back the tears, but on a brave face and just smile when he needs it and kiss his cheek when appropriate. He still hugs me and kisses me when he leaves the house or when I leave. Sometimes, I squeeze a little too hard or hold on a bit too long, but he indulges me and I can feel him smile when I do so. He has planned a bit of a party for Friday night, with the boys. I'm looking forward to it for him. His spirits seem to be a bit higher and he even visited some friends. So, I guess the chatting has help. I hope so!
Me and my girls....
The girls are amazing, ornery, feisty, fiery and yes, bratty! They fight and argue and play together like I had hoped they would. Elise is awesome and starting kindergarten this year. I can barely wrap my mind around that little detail for several reasons. Seems like only yesterday she was placed in my arms in the hot and humid room in Guangzhou. Then I think about me, at my age, having a child in kindergarten. I'm not looking forward to standing next to all those young mothers this fall. First one that asks me if I'm the grandmother might be making a trip to the ER! Feeling scrappy today!!!!
Millie has been home for two years and what a couple of years we have had. I look back and my head spins. Sometimes I wonder where the time has gone and then other times I wonder when the medical journey will end. But she is walking now...fifteen weeks after the hip surgery. It's not a pretty walk, but she's walking and rebuilding her strength and for that I thank the Lord!
Giggs makes me laugh...I just wish he wouldn't stick his nose up my rear end. Yeah, I know, TMI! But seriously, the dog has got to be rubbing up against someone or something all the time. I seem to be his choice, but I think that's because I'm the most convenient. He's developed a great relationship with the girls and they even "play house" with him. The poor guy ends up on a leash, being pulled around the house and locked in rooms with the crazies. But, he's good natured and indulges them. If I hear him start to whimper, I rescue him. But he rarely complains. Tuck is his favorite play toy. The noise level in the house ticked up several decibels when Tuck walks through the door. It requires some deep breathing on my part, but ultimately, makes me smile!
The worst part of the summer has been Steve's transition. He's looking for a job and we are prayerful that one is offered soon. His company is closing it's doors. I would LOVE to go into that, but it would be a bitter rant about an ego-maniac that had no business being put into the position that he was and then the idiocy of those in charge who's egos got in the way of admitting a hiring mistake. But like I said, it would just be a bitter, mindless rant ;-).
As for me....I'm looking to plan a little get away....all by myself...alone. For the first time in my life, I need some time to recharge without anyone or anything expecting something from me. It's a lot to ask for, but I'm crossing my fingers that it can happen. I want to be NO ONE for a few days. I want to sleep when I want, eat when I want and not even hear my name. It's so very selfish and there's a piece of me that feels guilty. But then there's a piece of me that's screaming to get away. I have the perfect place in mind....think spa!!!!
Friday, June 19, 2009
I took her to have her photo taken in her recital dress. This is our favorite. I have to say, she leans toward stunning. I can say that since I had nothing to do with her looks ;-) .
This is her shakin' her groove to Teddy Bear. She's even smiling a little bit!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Completed Tree House
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
PS If you don't check out Millie's blog (my youngest), you should....we just got back from another surgery in St. Louis click on this link if your interested: Amelia's Journey